Still processing

All was going well until Saturday September 6th morning. The day I've been waiting for. The day I got to see the heartbeat and breath a little easier. That is not exactly what happened. After sleeping really crappy on Friday night due to nerves and excitement I wake up Saturday morning and go to the restroom like I always do. Blood. Lots of it. I pretty much yell "Oh My God!" and start panicking. Scott comes running sees what I see and starts crying. I really thought I was beginning to miscarry. The whole way to Akron to get our ultrasound was silent. Except for my burst of tears. I almost lost it in the waiting area and completely lost it when our Dr. walked into the room. I told him about the blood and how I am nervous and can't calm myself down. He put ultrasound probe in. I had my eyes shut tight. I was terrified. Scott sniffles and nudges me on the shoulder. Before I could open my eyes and look at the screen I hear the heartbeat. I still can't pull it together. Dr. tells me heartbeat is 126 (wanted a heartbeat over 100) and measuring 6 weeks 3 days-right where it should be. Still crying I ask so there's just one? He says "No there is two". Now my hands start to go numb and I think I may pass out. All I kept thinking was I am going to lose one due to the bleeding this morning. He said heartbeat is 126 and measuring the same 6 weeks 3 days. He also points out a dark spot by one of the placentas and said that may be a slight detachment and wants me to stay off my feet for the weekend. Also explains there is a chance one of the multiples "diminishing" but both look good so far. Dr. said that a third of woman experience bleeding in early pregnancy and to call if bleeding gets heavy or I get cramps. He says he will see me to two weeks.
I didn't pull it together much that day. I was too terrified to move. I didn't want the bleeding to continue. I just wanted someone to tell me that they both will make it all the way. The fact that there were two didn't hit me until days later. I just want them both to be healthy. That's all.
The bleeding did go away and I hope it stays away. The fact that we are having twins hits me in different ways everyday. There are 1000 and 1 "what if's?" but I try to remind myself this is my last pregnancy and to enjoy it. (After the progesterone shots, injection site pain, back pain, complete exhaustion and nausea go away of course).
Last but not least. I know I can handle anything with Scott by my side. He is my partner on this crazy adventure and we will laugh, cry, celebrate, comfort and worry together! Just like we have been doing for the past 11 years.
Carter's reaction to the news of 2 wasn't that thrilling. He gave us a big smile then kept on eating his lunch. Lol. I did show him the ultrasound pictures and he said they look like quesadillas....?? Lol. Also this past weekend when I told Carter Dr. said to stay off my feet. He said "Just walk on your toes then Mommy". Last night when putting him to bed he says "I just don't know how we are going to adopt two babies" I said "We aren't adopting the babies they are coming out of Mommy's belly" He said "Oh, how are we going to keep them?" I laughed and said they are going to live in the computer room. They are both going to share that bedroom" "Oh" he says.
Lastly, I am so grateful for all the phone calls and texts of love, prayers, support and celebration. There are so many people who I can feel are so truly happy and excited for us. People who have been experiencing this IVF journey with us from the start, who have been our prayer team! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for making us feel so loved.
This has been one of the hardest things I have been through physically and emotionally. No words can describe how I will feel when I am holding those babies. They are true miracles. Just like Carter. My three miracles with a side of science :)

I ate 3/4 can of sauerkraut for dinner.

That is all.