Laura Story - Blessings

Heard this song recently. I think I love it.
God has been speaking to me lately and I am so thankful.

My head may explode...

So I've been really "down in the dumps" lately. I haven't cried or yelled or screamed. I haven't stayed in bed or not cooked dinner or not do homework, or not exercise... I've just been really depressed on the inside but have not allowed myself to call off work, crawl into a hole and self-medicate like I want to. I can't.
Carter and I were playing basketball in his room last night and all of a sudden out of no where he says. "Mom, are you disappointed?"  I said "No, with who?" He said "the babies, because they died" I explained to him that I sometimes am confused as to why they died and I won't know the answer until I get to Heaven. He asks me if I want to go to Heaven. I say "Of course, but not right now, I will miss you, I need to take care of you still" He replies "Well, Dad is here" I say "I know Dad is here but won't you miss me if I go to Heaven?" and he says "Yes, but I will be there".
I really don't know what to make of this conversation... I keep replaying it over in my head. Was Carter trying to make me feel better? Is he really that comfortable talking about going to Heaven? Does he understand what he is saying? How did he sense my frustration with God? Was God trying to tell me something with this conversation?

I don't know?