Decisions

How the tables can turn. It's my fault for calling my ovaries stubborn.... When I went to RE's today I did my normal procedure- blood work and ultra sound. In the middle of the ultra sound I was looking at the screen and made a comment like "wow, this doesn't look like it did when I was on Clomid" Re didn't say much in reply and I started to feel uncomfortable. Then when he was done I started to ask about taking progesterone after the IUI and neither the RE or the nurse answered me. They just said to get dressed and meet them in the nurse's office. I started to feel confused and nervous

I have 5 potential follicles. Which means in retrospect 5 potential babies. The odds are slim but I must know what I'm dealing with. With Clomid I had 2-3 potential follicles at the most- so the response with injections was much better but also much riskier. So we can either take the gamble and still do the IUI or just skip this cycle and not do IUI because of the potential of 2-5 multiples. I asked RE what he thought I should do- he said I should talk to my husband and figure out if it came down to it if "selective reduction" would be something we'd be willing to consider. (He also said in his whole career he has only seen two women have to opt for selective reduction) http://www.asrm.org/Patients/FactSheets/Multiple_Gestation-Fact.pdf This is a touchy subject, as I've just learned, among woman trying to conceive. I wouldn't want to do this unless it was absolutely medically necessary. Unless another baby's life or my life depended on it. I wouldn't do it just because I didn't want the extra work/risks/involvement of multiples. If I was able to carry 5 babies without the chance of my one of the babies or myself dying then I would carry 5 babies....Here's what else ran through my head.

I of course don't want to have 3-5 babies at once if I can help it because of all the risks involved but if I don't do this I don't want to always wonder if I had gone through with it- would it of been my month- my time- my sign? Did I pass up the chance to achieve my dream? I know I'm young, and there is supposedly nothing medically wrong with Scott and I. I also know the risks of carrying multiples for myself and for my babies but why do we make the decisions we make? Its been 18months and no sign of pregnancy what so ever.... Even with as many as 3 follicles. There no guarantee this month that all 5 follicles will release an egg and no guarantee that if 5 eggs were released that all 5 would fertilize. We decided to start infertility treatments for a reason- we've made it this far- we invested so much time, effort, energy, emotion, faith, hope, and love into this. What's meant to happen will happen. I have faith in God that whatever happens in 2 weeks whether its a negative or a positive with 1, 2 or 3 (or more...) babies- we can handle it.

So the decision was made after hours of trying to 2nd guess my gut feeling (which was always to go for it) We will do the Ovidrel injection tonight between 10-11pm then the IUI (intrauterine insemination) will be done this Wednesday morning.
http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/serono/products/ovidrel/index.jsp
I am excited and scared. I hope this is it for me. I feel like I am making the right decision and whatever happens from here is in God's hands. I am learning to trust Him again and in some odd way I feel like this may be another test for me. A test of my Faith and Trust in God to take care of me no matter what the outcome may be.