What a marriage is made of...

I never (ever) thought being married was difficult- until this past year. And I know exactly why I feel this way. Its the stress, strain, depression, anxiety, heartache, and feelings of failure that come with a diagnosis of infertility (not to mention the completely ruined sex life). Its really hard to get through the month sometimes. Both of us are thinking about it constantly- it really affects how we act, think and talk to one another. Sometimes I think I can't do it anymore. Being married and wanting and trying to have baby for this long is too hard for me to handle and I don't want to do it anymore. I want to go back to the days when we weren't "trying" to have a baby. But this is my reality. This is our life. This is what we have to deal with and it just sucks. Scott and I know each other too well- we know what we want- we hate that we don't have any answers- we are confused- frustrated- and holding on day by day- we try to heal each other- we try to comfort each other but some days it's the opposite. We take it out on each other- we snap- and are stubborn and feel resentment and anger towards one another. We have to work very hard to keep our marriage working some days and never in a million years would I think I would say that but then again never in a million years did I think it would take me years to get pregnant and have the family I always wanted.