I was just reading through this blog and I think its (excuse my language) bat shit crazy everything Scott and I have gone through (and continue to go through) with trying to conceive. This blog is almost 10 years old now! Can you say cra-cra?? A miracle and a tragedy happend in April 2016. After 11 years of trying to conceive on our own- we did! It was the biggest shock of our lives! In my mind I thought this baby had to make it because he or she was conceived naturally. Not under the bright lights of a doctor's office, in stirrups with more credit card and loan debt to our names to pay for it. Also because I've been praying HARD. I mean HARD! about when to go forward with a Frozen Embryo Transfer "FET"(We still have 6 babies on ice). I've been praying about where we were going to get the money and when would be the right time and then BOOM I get pregnant. Answered prayers?
April 9th was my 1st positive home pregnancy test and by May 5th I was having a D&C for a "blighted ovum". That is an embryo that attaches to the uterus but never develops a baby inside. My Faith has been shaken once again... A book that really helped this time was "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". It has a different perspective than the other Christian/Faith based books I have read. So where do I go now?? Well, I need to get my Faith back on track. It's slowly getting there. A anonymous person from our church sent a postcard yesterday that said "Praying For You" on front with such a nice message written on the other side. It came at the perfect time!
It's really strange to read the posts from the 2007 and the 2008 me. As well as the posts from 2012/2013 and during the IVF. I still can't believe I was pregnant with 2 seemingly heathy twins and I buried them both. It's still shocking to my system. I wish I was at home with them right now teaching ABC's and colors....
In other depressing news.... My 1st fur baby passed away last month. Willy. I miss him everyday. He knew when I was upset and need comforting. And he wasn't the type of dog to snuggle, cuddle or even want you to pet him and that's what I loved about him. He would just literally lay by my side, (but not sleep), he would protect me, and let me know he was there. He reminded me of a K9. A no nonsense, LOYAL, friend who you could always count on. Life is definitely not the same without him.
OK had enough "Wa- Wa's"??? yet?? I have and it's time for some good news. I'll keep waiting.
No comments:
Post a Comment