Expectations

I've come to realize through the past two years, you can't expect people to feel what you feel inside and you can expect someone "to put themselves in your shoes" when you want them to. It's hard when some one's words or actions hurt you inside but because they aren't living your life or feeling your emotions. And I don't mean words or actions that are literally hurtful- just stories, comments, situations that make Scott and I think about all the devastation we been through and what we want so much and cant seem to accomplish... Maybe this doesn't make sense to you but it does to us. Scott and I handle things differently but we both instinctively know when the other is upset and trying to hold it in. At times something is said or we are put in a situation that will spark the emotions and tears to fall later- when its just him and I, when we are alone and don't have to explain our emotions to anyone else. For example- if we have a good day and all of a sudden I start to cry and become upset, Scott knows what happened during the day to trigger that to happen because he feels it to. He just chooses to handle it different and that's OK. When you've gone through 2 years of unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant, 1 year of infertility doctors and drugs, 2 surgeries including a D&C from a miscarriage things affect you differently. You see situations differently. You are more sensitive. Who wouldn't be??? But what's important is not expecting every family member and friend to empathize with you. Not because they're intensive or rude or forgetful. They just aren't you and aren't living your life. Scott and I know how we feel, we have each other, we are strong and weak with and for each other. Its hard for us and sometimes, I will avoid situations that I know will make me upset and I don't care if I get criticized for it because no one is me- no one has my past, my future, my heart, my mind, my emotions. I don't want to sound like my family and friends aren't supportive or sympathetic because they have been my support system since day 1. I owe so much to them for the prayers, tears, encouragement, advice and listening ears and shoulders to cry on. I have learned so much about myself, how to be strong and how to take care of myself and realize that being jealous of someone who has what we've worked so hard for is pointless. Yes, it still hurts sometimes and we will never forget but that's their life and our miracle will happen one day and it will be just as sweet, special, and life changing...

It is so true what they say- "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger"