Let downs

I feel like my life is just constant let downs. I feel like complete shit today. A new job, a new career I really wanted at a company I would of loved to work chose to hire another person. It was between us 2. I made it down to the final 2 and still can't catch a break! I am so damn frustrated. the two major aspects of a person's life are family and work- I can't get either! A baby means so much to me- it's all I ever knew I was sure about. I ALWAYS knew I wanted to be a mom. I fail at that and now while trying to distract myself from everything pregnancy and infertility I am trying to concentrate on my career. I finally get an interview and am SO excited about the job and WHAM another disappointment, another failure. I wish I wouldn't of known it was down to me and another girl- that just makes it so much worse... I feel so horrible. I don't know how to pull myself up anymore. I cannot catch a break. I'm tired of being strong, being positive, being "fine" I'm not those things right now. I don't know what to do...