Almost

Well, I think I can say- at least for the past few days- that I feel almost "normal" again. I think I am really letting myself be OK with not getting pregnant right now. This weekend I barely thought or talked about it. I was just worried about my weekend plans- going out and having a few drinks and it was so nice. I almost felt like I did when Scott and I were just married and not "married and trying to have a baby" I hope this continues and I am hopeful it will. I am really going to stick with exercising and losing more weight. I'm almost to my goal. I am so proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far which I can say 60% of my weight loss was from diet and exercise and the other 40% was stress, anxiety, depression and loss of appetite. But I'm ready to lose my last 10lbs the right way and I know I can do it. I am actually almost excited for bathing suit season and that hasn't happen in at least 4 years or more (I swear as soon as we said "I do"- I automatically started gaining weight- like it was part of the ceremony or something??)

I do want to mention in this blog that one thing that has helped me tremendously through this horrible ordeal (this may get a few laughs) are my pets. I know not everyone is as big of a dog/animal lover like I am but they do give me so much love and comfort exactly when I need it. I swear my dogs know when I am upset and sad- and instinctively know what to do. I know they are dogs and cant speak to me or have feeling/emotions like me but they are a huge part of my life. Its just good therapy for me when I come home from work or from an hour shopping trip and they act like I've been gone for a week straight and give me slobbery kisses like they never want me to leave again. I will never be without dogs for many reasons but I love how they can turn my bad mood completely around sometimes just by being them... I've heard that that the love for your pets transfers to your baby once you have children and that's OK with me when the time comes but for now- I'm so happy being a fur mommy!