After our 3rd failed insemination we sat down with Dr. Hecht again. We both agreed it was time to schedule the laparoscopy surgery for myself before we dive into more expensive fertility treatments. Since Dr. Hecht stopped doing surgeries and my nurse/midwife couldn't perform surgery either, we went to Dr. Hecht's referral surgeon from Cleveland Clinic- Dr. Goldberg. We scheduled a consult with him and told him our situations, what we've been through already and our concerns with the possibility of scar tissue blocking/preventing fertilization to occur. He agreed the surgery was needed at this point. The surgery was finally scheduled for 3/2/07.
If you know me at all you know I am a worrier. A huge what if worrier. I was so scared but so anxious to maybe get some question answered. This sounds bad but I was hoping the surgeon was going to find the issue- remove it- and say "I found out the reason you haven't got pregnant for the past 17months and it's all taken care of and you should have no problem trying to get pregnant now..."
The Thursday before the surgery I was on a clear liquid diet all day and had to drink 2 bottles of "Fleet's Phosphor-soda" in the evening for my bowel prep. If not eating all day wasn't bad enough... I couldn't stomach the taste of this nasty saline laxative solution. I got the first bottle down and maybe 1/3 of the 2nd. I felt like I was on the t.v. show Fear Factor. Well....Fleet's definitely did its job and I can say now this was the absolute worst part of the surgery- well maybe 2nd worst.
The next day I pretty much was exhausted and literately 2.5 lbs lighter. I didn't get really nervous and freaked out until they walked me into the O.R. (that was the worst part for me) I would of rather not seen all the lights, contraptions, and medical stuff. They told me to untie my gown and lie down on the table- then they stuck this big sticker on my back and all I thought was "Oh Geez... What the hell was that? The sticker to identify my body in case I die" (I later found out from cousin nurse Jenn- it was my ground wire so I didn't get electrocuted due to a cutlery instrument they were using- nice...) I kept my mouth shut laid down and started to cry and hyperventilate. One of the women who was in the room was kindly trying to calm me down- and holding my hand. She said goodnight and I went numb in an instant. Then I woke up.
The first question I asked was "How long was I in surgery" Because I knew it was going to take about 20mins if everything looked good and longer depending on what they found and what they had to do to correct it. Someone told me 45mins. I went into recovery. Saw Scott and my Mom. I had 3 small incisions. I felt O.K. I think I laid there for about an hour or less and we went home. It was hard to use my stomach muscles and I laid in bed most of the day for 2 days after. I was sore for 7-10 days after. We scheduled a consult with Dr. Hecht to go over the report from Dr. Golberg. This is what he said.
2 small adhesions were found. One of those adhesions was no where in the vicinity of my ovaries and uterus. The other adhesion was on my left ovary and Dr. Goldberg freed it. So the findings were almost normal. No significant scar tissue; no endometriosis. But now we know...
http://www.medicinenet.com/endometriosis/article.htm
I silently started go back into panic mode. We've done virtually every test possible, Your telling me I actually have to accept the fact that I can't get pregnant and no one knows why??? As we went through our next steps/options I felt like I was going to get sick. Why is this happening to us? I am tired. I want to quit everything- the Dr. visits, the treatments, the worrying, the depression, the aggravation, the anxiety and the trying... But something is not letting me quit. I don't know why.
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