And the roller coaster continues.... Another failure. Another heartbreak. Another question. Another disappointment. I want to cry. I want to leave everything I am doing and go home and hide away. How am I supposed to be strong? When is it my turn to be a mom? When can I finally tell my husband the good news he's been waiting to hear?? When I can make my family grandparents, aunts, and uncles? What is wrong with my body? My mind? This month I thought I had a good chance because I wasn't stressed and obsessed. I was "relaxed" like everyone tells me to be. It didn't work... Now I have to face another holiday and try not to tear up when someone asks"How are you?" or when someone just knows- knows that we failed yet again and I can instinctively feel their sympathy, compassion and concern in the tight squeeze hug they give me. I've said this for the past 18 months and I will say it again- I can't do this for one more month... I don't understand why this is happening to me????
On to injections. I am nervous and upset about it. I'm not excited like I was when I began Clomid. The disappointment has gone on for way way too long. I am not hopeful ANYTHING will work at this point. This is the absolute worst experience of my life. I wouldn't wish this anguish on my worst enemy (if I had one...)
I will go to RE office tomorrow for a ultra sound to ensure I don't have any cysts on my ovaries. I believe my first injection will be Friday March 31st.
I never would have imagined my life being the way it is now....
When do I get my silver lining...
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