One ray of light...

Well, Here we are- almost up to date. Almost 20months after Scott and I decided it was time to start the family we always wanted.
We went over our next options with the Dr. He said we could try one more round of Clomid/IUI; or start injectible medication w/ IUI- which is stronger, more expensive, and more involved than just "taking a pill." or if we had "unlimited funds" we can move on to IVF- In vitro fertilization (which runs in the $10,000 range) where they remove my eggs- fertilize them w/ Scott's sperm and put the fertilized eggs back in . The success percentage rates for this procedure is 50% vs. 10% with IUI but the price tag is the biggest concern.
I never really considered doing another round of Clomid/IUI because it didn't work the 1st 3 times. Why and how could I be confident that it would work the 4th?? We decided to have the office check our coverage for injectible fertility medication. I was really really discouraged and unhopeful that we would be able to afford these shots. I've heard they were outrageous in price so when Dr. office called me back and said "You have awesome insurance. I rarely see this kind of coverage but all you will have to pay is a small copay - no matter what amount of meds you order." That was such good news but could I/did I want to do this?" Although I knew we could afford to do the injectible treatments I still felt like it was a bitter/sweet situation. I just couldn't believe it has come to this. Giving myself injections to try and get pregnant?!
How do women just get pregnant? How was it that easy? Why are there so many mistreated, abused and neglected babies? Why? Am I not deserving of a baby? Am I being punished for some reason? Why? Why me?
We ordered the new medication and will start the treatments next month. We will be taking a FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) called Gonal-f RFF Pen. http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/serono/products/gonalf/pen/index.jsp
What is does is it creates more follicles (eggs) in my body so there is a better chance for one of them to get fertilized- with risks of course- like having multiples (just like Clomid). We will do these injections in conjunction with a IUI. RE said the success rate rises to 20% with injectibles vs. clomid (pill).
Scott and I took a class on how to use the Gonal Pen. It seems easy but I don't think i can stab myself with a needle... So Scott will be doing it- Yikes!
It will be injected it in the f-a-t part of my stomach around my belly button and I will use it everynight starting on cycle day 3 up to cycle day 13- depending on how fast my follicles are responding.

Well, that's all for now. I will be updating this blog as we keep going down this treacherous path... This blog will one day turn into a pregnancy (or adoption) blog. One day this will be all worth it. One day Scott and I will get to our goal of becoming parents and finally hold our long awaited miracle in our arms. For now we will continue to hope, pray, and wait for that one day to arrive.